Assault Blog Design and Apparel Resource Tutorial Website

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It’s 1:15am and I haven’t gone to bed before 3am in about 5 days now… but I’m here with a punch-yourself-in-the-face update that you won’t want to miss. (actually at this time you will have missed this blog post because I put the password back up on the site because search engines were spidering our content)

We now have a new Official Wet T-Shirts Myspace. Just kidding. In all seriousness though, I have been doing tons of Search Engine research the past few days (thus making me an expert on the topic) and upon testing search results via any free online search tool, I found that wet t-shirt is indeed a very popular search term. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to convert any of those visitors into actual sales…

We really do have a myspace, but it’s just a normal one. I’m sure we could get Craig to do something strange if we could just get him to stay up past 9:30pm, but that little guy is still growing! And if you wake him make sure you have a quick getaway or some sort of riot police shield to defend yourself. That guy is scary–no joke. Don’t fall victim to his friendly demeanor as Shan once did. To this day she has never recovered.

The Official Assault Myspace page is all customized and 1337 looking: take that all you 13 year old myspace custom page designers. Feel free to add us as your friends, and if you are wearing one of our shirts in your profile and send us a message we’ll send you a discount code! (maybe even for a free shirt!)

I’ve also taken the liberty to post some hidden codes on our actual shirt designs, and throughout the source code of the web site. Most of them are functioning as of now, but supplies are limited so there’s only 10-25 uses per code. In other words, find em while you can. There may even be some hidden in this blog post… or on the blog’s source code! (we’re clever)TM

On to the business side of things though we now have decided to use an integrated Paypal with the website called Website Payments Pro. It saves us the hassle of having to be slaves to Bank of America and Authorize.net and it’s alot cheaper. It also gets us an online terminal so we can charge items via fax, over the phone, and if any of my (Tim) stalker’s decide to leave their credit cards lying around his posh Chicago apartment. The percentage per transaction on Paypal’s Website Payments Pro is a bit lower as is their monthly rate and the setup is loads easier. (Especially if you already have a Paypal account.) I tried to get approved for loans and merchant business accounts everywhere else but I found that I was jumping through hoops just to get the process started.

Plus Bank of America has charged me probably over a grand in overdraft fees the past 5 years I’ve been banking with them and our relationship has just never been the same. Kinda like when one of your friend tells you twisted sex stories about him and his girlfriend and you can’t look her in the eye anymore because you know what’s gotten in said eye…

…but I digress. I also have a fully functional newsletter on the site for everyone to sign up for. It won’t be one of those newsletters where we annoy the hell out of you and it’s full of spam and we won’t email you every day, or probably even every week. Truth be told we probably just won’t have time for it initially, but I promise I’ll do my best to get one out at least monthly and you can bet that there will be hidden codes in the emails for you to discover redeemable for free shirts, discounts, and full frontal nudity from any of the girls on our Myspace top friends.